Diamanda Galás – In Despair

 

Diamanda Galás singing a poem written by Konstantinos P. Kavafis

Εν απογνώσει

Τον έχασ’ εντελώς. Και τώρα πια ζητεί
στα χείλη καθενός καινούριου εραστή
τα χείλη τα δικά του· στην ένωσι με κάθε
καινούριον εραστή ζητεί να πλανηθεί
πως είναι ο ίδιος νέος, πως δίδεται σ’ εκείνον.

Τον έχασ’ εντελώς, σαν να μη υπήρχε καν.
Γιατί ήθελε —είπ’ εκείνος— ήθελε να σωθεί
απ’ την στιγματισμένη, την νοσηρά ηδονή·
απ’ την στιγματισμένη, του αίσχους ηδονή.
Ήταν καιρός ακόμη— ως είπε— να σωθεί.

Τον έχασ’ εντελώς, σαν να μη υπήρχε καν.
Aπό την φαντασίαν, από τες παραισθήσεις
στα χείλη άλλων νέων τα χείλη του ζητεί·
γυρεύει να αισθανθεί ξανά τον έρωτά του.

translation of the poem:

In Despair

He lost him completely. And he now tries to find
his lips in the lips of each new lover,
he tries in the union with each new lover
to convince himself that it’s the same young man,
that it’s to him he gives himself.

He lost him completely, as though he never existed.
He wanted, his lover said, to save himself
from the tainted, unhealthy form of sexual pleasure,
the tainted, shameful form of sexual pleasure.
There was still time, he said, to save himself.

He lost him completely, as though he never existed.
Through fantasy, through hallucination,
he tries to find his lips in the lips of other young men,
he longs to feel his kind of love once more.

Angels of Liberty – Monster In Me

 

Monster In Me
There’s a hole inside of me,
And that’s something that I know,
Within me
A shadow I wont show,
Inside

You can’t take away my home
Repair my shattered soul,
I’ve nowhere else to go,
From you regime of control,
Inside

I’ve mirrored your fears
I’ve drowned in my own tears,
I’ve mirrored your fears
I’ve drowned in my own tears,
Inside

I survived your discipline,
And buried precious years,
But I’ve grown
I’m a mirror of your fears
Inside

I’ve mirrored your fears
I’ve drowned in my own tears,
I’ve mirrored your fears
I’ve drowned in my own tears,

Oh! Mama!
You made the monster in me
Oh! Mama!
You!

Oh my brother dear
Did an angel die?
I’m evil.
I survived.
It makes this devil cry,
Inside

I’ve mirrored your fears
I’ve drowned in my own tears,
I’ve mirrored your fears
I’ve drowned in my own tears,
Inside

Oh! Mama!
You made the monster in me
Oh! Mama!
You!

I’ve mirrored your fears
I’ve drowned in my own tears,
I’ve mirrored your fears
I’ve drowned in my own tears